Guilt was the Old message, Insight is the NEW

Listening to my pastor in Church today I gained a feeling of relief as he explained what the Church teaches about the choices we make and how eventually we will be held accountable by God. I felt relieved because I realized that I have matured to a place where I think about the consequences of my choices beyond immediate gratification most if not all the time.    I became sad for a moment because I thought about the people I have met over the years who made jokes about growing up Catholic and feeling perpetually guilty about their sins and being a "recovering catholic". It saddens me because I am a convert.  I love the Church, and the Priests I have met and the Liturgy.  So I can't quite relate to or understand their perspective.    They percieved correction in a punitive way rather than as a fact of life. But we are mature adults now.  We like to correct our errors of living.  We, in most cases will live longer on this earth, and... we will live a better life.    If someone tells you that you have a spot on your face, you don't feel guilty, you immediately wash your face.  Somehow our culture has villified being corrected.  Now it seems that anything is OK.  It is a free country they say so let me be who and what I am going to be.   If a child is going to hurt themselves by doing something dangerous we as adults do not hesitate to stop them.  But as adults we do not want to be told what to do.  Even if we are unaware that our behavior may be destructive.   I don't know about you, but I want all the help I can get.   So I listen without judgment, I discern if the message pertains to me, I willingly and gratefully make every attempt to make amends or correct the error.  No guilt, just action. Amen.

Radiate His Light: Saint Maron - February 9th

Radiate His Light: Saint Maron - February 9th

Maronite Learning

The Maronite Catholic approach to faith stems from a monastic tradition and is in communion with Rome. This blog has been created to share my journey of faith and to offer some information which I hope will promote understanding and even forgiveness to those who are confused or even angry with what "they think" the Church has become. I was ordained as a subdeacon in October of 2010 and provide this information as part of my ministry.
A subdeacon is a minor order clergyman, who in the early church served as the liaison or bridge between the Church and the secular community. Subdeacon’s, theoretically at least, have understanding of both realms and can translate confusing or unclear information to promote clairity. A language translator serves a similar purpose in transactions or interpersonal communication by conveying the meaning of words, phrasing so there is clarity and understanding.
This information is offered in faith to all who are interested in truely understanding what giving your life to Jesus Christ means.  More than just an idea or good feeling but a leap of faith that Jesus is the source of life on this earth.  That being said in English means different things to different people.  So... before you judge, or jump for joy, pray. Using a monastic practice just quietly pray alone in your room ask Jesus to enter your life. Find a work or scriptural phrase that promotes that choice.  Do this daily and watch what happens. Tell noone at first. Just make the choices Jesus directs you to make.  You will be amazed.  And remember, we all have different talents, before you quit your job, move into a monestary and give up all your worldly things, just sit with Jesus in prayer. Then find a Catholic Church to partake of the Eucharist with other Christians.  Keep earning a living and supporting your family, they are a gift of God. And keep praying.

Happy New Year

I am looking forward to the new Year... seems like only yesterday it was 1970 and I was graduating from High School. Oh what a life. Wishing all my friends and family a happy new year. May you be at peace with yourself and your neighbor.

Prayer

Our charge as Christians is to pray without ceasing, privately daily, and with our faith community as often as possible. Equally important is the regular attendance at the weekly Eucharistic Celebration also referred to at the Divine Liturgy or Mass. This will help and encourage us to choose behavior that does not work against our spiritual development (sin). God has given each of us a free will and so we still must choose our behavior. Sometimes we kid ourselves that this or that behavior is not bad, or even that it is fun so God would want us to experience joy if he truly Loves us. The truth is that sin can be fun and in America sin is not against civil law. In fact our Constitutions gives Americans the right to pursue happiness even if it is sin. Does that make America bad? No. But it does mean we have responsibility as Americans and Christians to pursue healthy happiness that contributes to our family and community.

So how do we deal with our spiritual path and still live in the free world? This is the true battle. Centering allows us to quiet our minds with the intention to connect, be with, be inspired by, be touched by God’s Grace and without clearly articulating in our thoughts, connect with Divine which opens us up to Grace, if God Chooses. As we become more aware of God we begin to discern our observations, thoughts, people, and other worldly phenomenon which motivates our choices.

The Ordination Pictures and More

Waterville, Maine, October 24, 2010 - Stephen C. Crate was ordained at St. Joseph Maronite Church to the minor orders of Lector, Cantor and subdeacon by Chor Bishop Dominic Ashkar the pastor of our Lady of Lebanon Maronite Church in Washington DC. The Clergy attending were Father Larry Jensen, Pastor, Father James Roy, long time friend of the Parish, and Father Paul Murray, his Spiritual Director from the local Roman Diocese. The Deacon was Deacon Peter Joseph, life long member of the parish, loyal minister to St Joseph and a cousin and close friend to Stephen's father-in-law Deeb Ferris who was ordained to the subdeaconte with Peter in 1979. The servers were Ben and Jake Hodgken, dedicated to serving in the sanctuary.
The ordination included a honor guard of the Knights of Columbus in full regalla.

Chor Bishop Ashkar shared a remarkable story about the altar. When he was 10 or 11 years old he remembers his father assembling this altar for shipment to the United States. He learned years later that the same altar was shipped here to St Joseph Maronite Church in 1950. He this was an emotional moment to see the same altar he was awed by as a young boy.

Guests who attended included Steve's wife Allison and his two son's Matthew and Daniel. Steve's brother Doug and his two participated in the offeratory procession. Extended family and friends were also in attendance as well as a full church of regular St Joseph parishioners.

A reception was held after the ordination ceremony in the church hall. Pictures of the event can be viewed at the parish website by clicking on the title of this blog.

Ordination Date Set

I am happy to announce the date for my ordination to the minor order of lector, cantor and subdeacon as Sunday, October 24, 2010 at 10:00 AM at St Joseph Maronite Church, 3 Appleton Street, Waterville, Maine. I have spent the last few years discerning this next step on a spiritual path I have been on for a long time. I have been involved at St Joseph Maronite Church as a volunteer, Sunday school teacher, parish council member and reader since Allison and I were married there in 1975. The permanent subdiaconate is a minor religious order that serves as an assistant during religious services in the Maronite Catholic Church. I am not changing careers, but rather enhancing my spiritual relationship and service to the church. I will continue my professional work as a writer, teacher, and vocational rehabilitation specialist.

This ancient ritual is completed during the Qurbono or Divine Liturgy. Chorbishop Dominique Ashkar, from Our Lady of Lebanon Church in Washington, DC will be conducting the ordination.

I am posting this to let you know of the date of this milestone in my life. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for your interest in my life.

Stephen

P.S. Below I have included some Internet links that provide more information about the Maronite Church and and some other related websites. my home parish along with a brief description of the role of a subdeacon.

The Eastern United States Eparchy Home page
The Western United States Eparchy Home page

A You tube interview of our United States Bishops of the Maronite Church The Western United States Eparchy Home page

My Home Parish web page St. Josephs

The Maronite Monastery where I will be attending a retreat prior to my ordination
Maronite Servants to Christ the Light is a community of prayer and contemplation for women

SUBDEACON: In the *Maronite *Church, a subdeacon is the ministerial order before that of *deacon. This is a volunteer ministry. Subdeacons are expected to continue caring for their families and maintaining their professional employment while serving the church. Subdeacons are charged with "ministering at the altar," lighting the church and caring for the church building. In the *Qoorbono besides proclaiming some of the responses, subdeacons are charged with reading certain passages from the Scriptures. In the past, subdeacons have served in a liaison capacity between civil authorities and their religious communities in secular dealings affecting the villages in which they lived and served, particularly in the Middle East. Today, along with the temporary subdiaconate in seminary, a revived permanent subdiaconate exists.

Thanking the Holy Spirit

This weeks Epistle (1 Corinthians 12:1-12)  is a wonderful reminder that we each have different methods to share our spiritual selves with the world.  There was a time in my life, when I was much younger, that I thought bringing attention to my self in a funny or shocking way was the best way to be known and share my being.  I would say outlandish things, or act out a little,  people would laugh or not but I got the attention or the smile or sometimes my mother would say "Stephen". That was her way of scolding.    I learned that this only brought embarrassment to me and pain to my parents, brothers and friends. Although they never shared this with me until much later.  The self awareness embarrassment never reached me with clarity until the last few years when I have spent time reflecting on my self and my past behaviors.  This was part of my study and prayer to become a subdeacon in the Maronite Church.  I sent my profession of faith and my petition to be ordained to our bishop this last week and have continued my reflection.

Spiritual discernment can be a very difficult but rewarding process. For... you can't hide from your true self.  As you get to know the true self that God reveals through the process of contempative prayer an awareness arises.  On the river of thoughts you see all that you have been. Like a movie it arises, you become aware of it and it passes without judgement or action only new awareness.  The difficult thing is that you really can not do a thing about your past behavior as you view it in your memory river.  What is done is done.  In some situations you can and should try to make ammends with people you may have hurt.  But what you can do now is you can vow to make better choices in the future.  And, God willing,  those choices will keep you on the path to spiritual development, health and prosperity.  One day at a time, for my friends of Bill W.  So today my blog has a theme of gratitude. Gratitude for the gifts I have been given to teach and counsel as a vocational rehabilitation counselor.  Gratitude for the blessings of my family and friends who over the years witnessed my "out side the box" expression (verbal and behavorial)  without scolding or berating me. And finaly gratitude for the forgiveness I have recieved from my friends and family and most of all the Lord.  For with out forgiveness, true forgiveness, we can not go forth on the path.  Please pray for me.

Corpus Christi Watershed

Easy Polyphony by Kevin Allen (with 56 free practice videos) from Corpus Christi Watershed on Vimeo.

One Year Later

Last year I started Weight Watchers and weighed in at 273.  Two weeks ago I was 265 and feeling better than I have felt in a long time. I am a little more today but since my lowest for the year I am counting last weeks number.     So... 8 lbs in one year. I guess it is better that gaining.  Need to focus more by letting go 1 lb per week starting today. 

My Ancient New Faith

Recently I have connected with some old friends who have become Pastors and ministers in the Protestant tradition. A few questions have arisen about how I reached the decision to become a subdeacon in the Maronite Catholic Church since I grew up Presbyterian. The whole story is included in my first entry on this blog and I would encourage you to look at this if you are curious about how I came to this decision.

My purpose today is to share a new article by our Bishop titled: What it means to be Maronite. It touches on seven key areas of focus that make a lot of sense to me and I believe will give those who read the article a good introduction to being a Maronite. Specifically, the second area of focus where Bishop Gregory talks about Maronites being an ecumenical bridge among many faiths throughout history. I want to continue that tradition with all my new friends no matter what their faith tradition happens to be. I believe this open communication amongst those of different faiths is the key to world peace in the future.

Hope your day is filled Love and Peace and May God Bless you and your family.

New Year Restoration

I look forward to the American economic engine building some momentum as spring arrives. Hope and a new entreprenuerial spirit has given birth to new ventures, renewed belief and new jobs.

Vocational Development

In my work as a vocational rehabilitation counselor, I continue to see people suffering from the economic downturn and job loss. Not only because a medical condition became a disability and changed an individuals ability to their customary work, but from sheer lack of employers need to hire workers. I keep wondering where is this country heading. What does the future bring?

Messages from my spiritual life, which includes church and contemplative prayer, continue to draw me to the term vocation. This is the term used by the church to encourage young parishioners, both male and female, to pursue service to the Church as a Priest, Sister or religious service of some kind. In the catholic church these are life time commitments usually not for those who have a family to support and mortgage to pay.

The word vocational is also used as a career development term. A person's vocation is their life's work. The job they are meant to do in service to humanity. I believe each citizen of the world has a vocation to serve in some fashion. It might be in business, education, the trades, high finance or industrial/commercial function. I also believe that when a person's true vocation is found it will provide the needed income and environment specifically tuned to the style and needs of the individual and will provide a fufilling life. One way to find this vocation is to take career interest inventories or other assessments that help identify careers that fit with the particular aptitudes of an individual. World of Work Inventory is one tool, others include the Harrington Oshea Inventory and Choices. These provide a structured series of questions that the participant answeres about them selves which help draw a logical conclusion. These tools are used in One Stop Career Centers, Adult Education Programs and Vocational Rehabilitation programs through out the country. However, I would suggest that if you do not know your self well, the results from these exercises will not be as acurate as one might like.

I believe we each need to take some time and be with our selves long enough to let go of the external "shoulds" and allow the internal true self to provide the career decision. Then the above assessment tools are used after this they will be wonderful. I have discovered that using a centering or contemplative process prior to the decision making will make the results much more long term and acurate.

So... learn the contemplative prayer. Connect with your Divine within. Then ask God what your vocation should be.... I guarantee it will provide you a future you never thought possible. Let go Let God... Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Winter is coming

Today was cloudy, rainy and had the beginnings of winter cold. No more T shirts or shorts, even to run out to the mailbox. Thanksgiving this year brought great joy to our family. Allison and I invited both sides of the family. My two brothers, their wives and kids, Allison's Mom, her sister and brother-in-law and my nephew and three of Allison's aunts. You know those wise wonderful Lebanese Aunts who have an opinion about almost everything and they are usually right. They always have such nice things to say. Our son Matt the chef cooked two turkeys that served 28 people a wonderful meal. We have alot to be thankful for.

Life, work and other important things

I recently started working part-time for a case management agency in addition to my full time job at Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor with the Maine Bureau of Rehabilitation Services. This was necessary because of the 20 furlough days all state employees have been required to take without pay. Budget problems you know. I was happy to find some additional work, but unhappy that I will be working more than 50 hours a week to make ends meet. And now we learn that the state budget for 2010 will have a 200 million deficit. How many furlough days can they give us?

It's funny though... I am not as upset as I might have been 10 years ago. I am actually grateful to be paying my bills and eating on a regular basis. There are many in America, and the world for that matter, who barely eat each day. I think we may have become a little arrogant in our demand for more and better when we should be grateful for what we have. I know I am.

Forgiveness and gratitude are the key perspectives that make this world bearable and in many situations enjoyable, this combined with the Love of family members and friends makes it a pretty great time to be alive. I look forward to solving the problems of the future as a civil servant and VR counselor

May God Bless you and your family.

Stephen in Maine